Homesick Missionary

Ten Ways You Know You Are a “Homesick” Missionary

Homesick is in quotes because right now I’m homesick for Denver. Once I’m “home” in Denver, then I will miss my “home” in Caracas and I’ll become “homesick” for my other “home.” Either way, I’m just a poor wayfaring stranger homesick for my heavenly home. I hope my list makes you laugh and realize that “home” is really where God calls you to be, whether it’s here, there or in Timbuktu. Enjoy!

You know you’re a “homesick” missionary when . . .

1. You look up the house where you grew up more than once a month on Google Earth.

2. You’ll pay just about anything for an obtusely small jar of peanut butter.

3. You start pulling out your sweaters even though it’s 95 degrees outside.

4. You make a special effort to brush up on your English for the trip “home.”

5. You pull out those American flags you stored away in the closet to put them on display.

6. You start dreaming about Wal-Mart and Sam’s Club conveniences.

7. You smell imaginary doughnuts when you wake up on Saturday morning.

8. You get nostalgic every time you go to the mall and hear cheesy 80’s music.

9. You start reading CNN and the New York Times to catch up on what’s go on since you left.

10. You realize that life at “home” has gone on without you, but you’re thankful for where you live and what you are doing.

You Know You’re a Missionary If

You know you’re a missionary if . . .

 

The scale in your house has been used more to weigh luggage than to track your diet.

 

One fine day you realize that people in other parts of the world eat the animals you kept as pets in your childhood.

 

Someone scares you and you’re likely to react in any number of languages.

 

You’re an expert in bathing without running water and washing dishes without a sink.

 

You can chat with friends in different countries in multiple languages at the same time.

 

You can talk on two phones at once, interpreting from one language to another.

 

You’re ready to teach a Bible class, preach a sermon or teach kid’s class at any moment.

 

You have no problem picking up and showing love to unknown street children.

 

You’ve learned to never take the word “no” from a government official.

 

You’ve learned to negotiate a price so well that the locals congratulate you when you seal the deal.

 

Someone has yelled at you for being a “gringo” to which you politely respond in any number of accents to confuse the aggressor.

 

At one time the barber told you that you were the first person with blonde hair that he has attended to in his forty years of work.

 

You’ve slept in any number of spaces, kinds of floors next to any number of people.

 

You know how to get off a bus without waiting for the bus to stop.

 

When after living so long in a tropical climate, you put on a jacket when it’s 65 degrees Fahrenheit outside.

 

You really start believing that it’s best not to show up on time for any appointment.

 

You have entire conversations with people and later you forget which language you were speaking in.

 

You see visits to dangerous ghettos as an opportunity to grow in your faith.

 

You’ve shared a fermented drink out of same cup with people who have no teeth.

 

These are just a few!